my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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