I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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