"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
