hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
