my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
