i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
