not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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