Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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