It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
