girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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