cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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