I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize