imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
