She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize