brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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