people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
