Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
