he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
