Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
false alarm, still single
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
