This girl is more easily done than said...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
