Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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