We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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