Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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