Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
