Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
