dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
No subtext here. People are naked.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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