I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
