I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
