fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Boobs are out for the taking
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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