shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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