I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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