So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
