I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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