i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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