And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
