Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
