grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
