She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
