Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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