i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
