JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
