last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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