I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
