sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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