i just wanna soil my oats bro
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
