That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
false alarm. still invincible.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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