I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
