My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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