Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
