well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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