I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
