No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
