I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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