How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
