All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
