I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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