yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize