i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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