It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize