He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and she was petting her beer can
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
