i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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